Radiation Threatens Japan, McRib is Back

In the aftermath of the terrible earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan, the nuclear ongoing nuclear crisis has made radiation sickness a very dangerous threat according to Japan’s federal government. The radiation threatens not only the Japanese people, but also the country’s drinking water and livestock. In related news, McDonald’s has temporarily brought their barbecue treat, the McRib, back for a limited time.

“Holy shit, the McRib’s back?” Ted Hicks, a UNL student, exclaimed in disbelief upon hearing the recent news.

Yes, the McRib is back. The beloved pork sandwich slathered in barbecue sauce served with onions and pickles can be purchased at a McDonald’s near you. It is part of a limited-time deal the American fast food giant has set into place.

When asked to comment on the radiation threat to surrounding areas such as mainland Asia and Russia, Hicks seemed too stuck on the news about the McRib to even hear the question.

Courtesy Photo.


“Holy shit, the McRib is so fucking good. I’m going to McDonald’s to get one now!” exclaimed Hicks.

Despite being assured the McRib would be on the menu for a while longer, Hicks declined to comment on the crisis in Japan and proceeded to sprint towards the nearest McDonald’s nine blocks away. Reports that he made it have not yet been verified.

Other McRib fans have crowded local McDonald’s restaurants craving the BBQ treat.

One customer at the North Bottoms location in Lincoln commented that the craziness of the lines is like the chaos that followed the tsunami in Japan. A fellow customer replied, “Wait, what happened in Japan?”