Remember: Sam and Jimmy are fighting by the tree after school. Be there, or be square

By: Joseph, Age 10

Dude, dude, dude, Lenny just told me something. I don’t care if you’re in the middle of “Monster Hunter,” listen!

So, Sam apparently tried giving Becca a present in English class. What? Oh, like some fake ring or something, I dunno. Totally lame. But, anyway, Jimmy totally has the hots for her–he gave her an actual copy of “Frozen” once after school–so he got all angry and pushed Sam. Well, you know how super pissed Sam gets if he’s touched, right? Well, Sam pushed him back and shouted, and Jimmy just kept staring at him. Then, Jimmy told him to meet him by the old oak tree nearby after school.

It’s crazy, man, these guys fighting over Becca and all that.

Dude, who’s gonna win? I mean, Sam’s big and wacko and all, but Jimmy’s on the baseball team. Both are gonna get bloody, that’s for sure.

You think we should make a bet? We could totally make a lotta cash off of this. We could buy PS4s. Uhuh, we could totally do it.

So, you think Jimmy’s gonna win? Yeah, probably. He might actually bring a bat with him.

Huh? Who does Becca like? Oh, that’d be me. We totally made out Monday.