Ah! What a fuck man! No way is this guy this good! What’s his gamertag? American_Sniper? I’m going to report him he must be using an aimbot. This dude is literally only getting headshots! Fucking noob, he’s probably some sweaty fat bitch in his parent’s basement. What’s his killstreak? Holy shit he’s at 160, with 95 assists! There is literally no way that is right, there must be some kind of mistake. Some of them were women and children, though, I could hear them over their mics. American_Sniper, more like American_Diaper. I hope this dude enjoys his ban, what a damn noob. He has literally been camped up on this building the whole match! He literally hasn’t left once! Wow, he’s a noob and a camper. I’m going up there right now to knife his silly ass. We’ll see how he likes, ah what the fuck man, how did he kill me again? I was literally, literally, all the way across the map! I must’ve been literally at least 2,100 yards away and he took me out in literally one shot!
That’s it, I’m putting a bounty on him. First one to kill American_Sniper I will buy a case of Mountain Dew and any kind of Doritos you want. Wow this guy is a noob, he must be cheating. There is literally no way he is this much better than me. That’s it I have no other choice, I have to use my grenade launcher and take this guy out. I can’t believe it’s come to this. I have to noobtube his ass into oblivion. No, I can’t do that, I’ll just try to sneak up again and stab him in the ass until he is dead. American_Sniper, more like American_Asswiper.
Alright, guys, I’m right behind him this is going to be sweet. Oh holy shit! He 360 no scoped me! This game sucks. My controller is broken. I quit. Oh damn, sorry guys I have to go. My mom says dinner is ready. She is so annoying sometimes.