As anybody who follows a pop culture franchise would know, officials are constantly forced to deal with the release of alternate storylines, from fan-fiction novels to rogue comic books. Fans of stories set in places like the Marvel or Star Wars universes know how important it is to verify if a story comes from an approved source or, simply, a rogue fan.
Chancellor Ronnie Green, the equivalent to the studio executive of the University, has spent the past weeks quelling similar fears of fans, offering assurance that the 2017 football season will not be a part of the official Husker football canon. In a press conference held by the chancellor early Friday morning, Green stressed that this season was an unauthorized performance put on by the Husker football program.
“The University of Nebraska-Lincoln has a long, proud tradition of athletic excellence, especially when it comes to our football program,” Green told a room of reporters. “The team’s 4-6 record so far this season, clearly, does not follow the storyline we have in mind for our university, and we do not authorize its release to the public.”
Green went on to discuss how such a mix-up came about, saying that he was under the impression that, after last year’s rebuild, 2017 would be back to classic Husker football form.
“I was promised by people with knowledge of the situation that this year would, finally, be another season that would be added to the Husker football canon,” said Green. “Unfortunately, I was misled, so we must wait yet another year to continue to follow the official Husker storyline.”
Green, reportedly, then closed the press conference with a shameful shake of his head, muttering something about how Bo Pelini, for all his faults, could at least produce a decent football season.