Roommate Now Only Communicating Through Passive-Aggressive Snapchats

Local student Tina Branson reported this week that though she hasn’t seen her roommate in three weeks, she knows that she’s alive.

How? Through the intense barrage of increasingly angry snapchats Tina has received for the past month.

“At first, I thought it was just a joke,” Branson said, citing a snap from November that depicted the toilet seat that Branson’s boyfriend had left up with the words “Boys are filthy,” scrawled over it in red.

“But then it kept happening,” she said.

Snaps of empty toilet paper rolls, full trashcans, dirty dishes and un-vacuumed floors flickered across Branson’s camera roll.

“I’ve been screenshotting them to gather evidence for our roommate meeting,” Branson said.

The meeting, which is scheduled to take place on the night of December 8, is predicted to be only slightly inflammatory, with the concerned parties hiding their frustrations under smiles. It will be the first time that Branson’s roommate has appeared in public since the house Halloween party.

Branson rejected rumors that she was afraid to confront her roommate over the issue.

“I screenshotted all of these snaps for a reason—to show her how entirely unreasonable she’s being,” she said. “Like, if you want to ask me to do something, just ask, you know?”

However, when faced with the possibility of confrontation over her admittedly shoddy housekeeping, Branson appeared to back down. She emphasized her distaste for confrontation and fear of retribution in a statement on Wednesday.

“Honestly, they don’t bother me that much,” she said through gritted teeth. “I mostly just think they’re funny. It just seems like an immature way to deal with problems. I mean, I could talk to her about it, but what if she gets mad?”

Branson is not currently expected to address the issue at Monday’s meeting.