Rutgers to Field Collegiate Dodgeball Team

 In a strange turn of events, the interim Athletic Director at Rutgers, Carl Kirschner, announced plans to form a varsity dodgeball team.

“Mike Rice has not been released from Rutgers, but instead named head coach of the Scarlet Knights dodge ball team,” said Kirschner.

The plan was announced after footage of Rice hurling basketballs at players and calling them fairies was released.

When asked why Rice targeted his player’s heads, he responded, “This ain’t no sissy grade school dodgeball; here at Rutgers, we aim for the dome.”

Rice also defended calling his players fairies.

“If you can dodge a homophobic slur, you can dodge a ball.”