SJWs at UNL have eliminated the gender binary, now all the campus squirrels are women

Colleges are often criticized for being too liberal, and the beautiful University of Nebraska-Lincoln is no exception. The latest liberal takeover at UNL includes the elimination of the gender binary by known militant social justice warrior groups.

The Young Democrats club and the Women’s and Gender studies department have teamed up to completely remove the gender binary from the entire population of campus squirrels at UNL. Reports are suggesting that all campus squirrels are now using she/her pronouns and referring to themselves as women.  

Junior business administration major Ernest Reginald Van Alen is not happy with this change.

“Frankly, it makes me sick. You have these transgendered squirrels, designated as males by Christ, calling themselves women,” Van Alen said. “They’re wearing dresses. They’re growing pairs of [redacted]. They’re painting each other’s nails and having sleepovers. These squirrels’ bodies – their muscular, toned, testosterone pumping bodies – were made for throwing footballs and grilling prime rib. To see them act like this is shocking.”

Van Alen, along with others in opposition, are planning a protest set to take place under the squirrel’s trees on the green space this weekend.

Women’s and Gender studies graduate student, Indigo Rain, the head organizer behind the squirrel gender binary elimination movement, says she is not afraid.

“We knew there would be backlash from the moment we began to incubate the idea of eliminating the gender binary among the squirrels,” Rain said. “We live in a red state, it’s expected. But when we finally began the process of feminizing all of the squirrels that had been designated male at birth, that’s when the threats started coming in. Despite this, we’ve remained strong and carried out our plan to completion. We’ve gotten this far, we’re not going to back down now, especially not to a protest put on in our squirrels’ safe space!”

When asked for their take, squirrels around campus had little to say on the issue. However, all of the ladies seem to be thriving, beautiful and comfortable with their newly discovered femininity.