Spooky: Lil’ Red has been dead for 13 years, despite sightings

In a bizarre turn of events, Lil’ Red’s remains were discovered in an ice cream storage unit at the UNL Dairy Store on Tuesday.

Despite thousands fondly recollecting recent interactions with him, forensic experts determined that he has been frozen for roughly 13 years.

“Wow. That’s, like, so creepy,” said junior sarcasm major Sierra Young as she licked an ice cream cone that contained microbial amounts of Lil’ Red’s pancreatic matter. “I’m so terrified right now.”

Wild speculation has been spreading around campus. Some believe that there may have been a secret society of Lil’ Reds, and the one found in the freezer was about to expose information about their organization. Others argue Interdimensional Mascot Travel is the most plausible theory, which would explain Lil’ Red’s ability to appear in multiple places on different timelines.

The most popular explanation, however, revolved around the idea that the mascot’s restless spirit has been haunting the living souls of UNL, unbeknownst to anyone for over a decade.

“Oh god, he’s been following me for weeks. I can’t deal with this right n-” said freshman rhetoric major Aaron Longoria. He cut his statement short and sprinted in the opposite direction, running from some unseen entity which one would believe to be the ghost of Lil’ Red himself.

Reports of the unexplained phenomenon have risen dramatically in recent days. The happenings include disappearing Runza sandwiches, distorted strains of “Hail Varsity” playing softly when no one else is around and the University’s football team mysteriously not showing up for games.

Paranormal investigators have attempted to capture physical evidence of the Nebraska icon’s spirit. There have yet to be any visual or audio recordings of the phantom, though they received a significant response from an Ouija board that repeated the letters “G-B-R” for three hours.