Out-of-state friend constantly challenges notions of extreme weather

Nebraska native Dylan Phillips knows how extreme Nebraska weather can get — wearing shorts one day and a heavy coat the next, or getting a foot of snow and then seeing it gone two days later. But that doesn’t stop Phillips’ friend, Rory Williams, from regularly one-upping Nebraska’s weather with stories of the climate in his home state of Wyoming.

“I mentioned how the day started at just above freezing and by 3 p.m. it was 90 degrees, and Rory just laughed and said how Laramie gets that way every day in September,” Phillips said. “It gets kind of annoying. Like, I’m pretty sure that can’t happen with the topography and geographic location of Laramie, Wyoming.”

“Remember when we had that day off a few years ago because of all the ice?” Williams asked. “In Wyoming, we would put on our crampons and tire chains and make our way to class. We went to school when there were two feet of snow. Anybody who didn’t show up got detention the next day.” Williams began to appear visually agitated while comparing the climates of Lincoln and Laramie. “Wyomingites are a tougher breed.”

Phillips has never been to Wyoming, and if Williams is telling the truth, he doesn’t want to go anytime soon.

“If it storms really hard here, Rory will just make some comment about how the streets in Laramie would turn into rivers during every summer storm and how everything would be desert-dry within two days because of the heat of the sun. I don’t really believe him, though, because why the hell would anyone want to live there if they risk drowning one day and roasting the next?”

Williams could not be reached for additional comment while he was preoccupied yelling at the sky about how Wyoming’s cumulonimbus clouds were bigger.