The world is a cruel and unfair place, and not everyone is cut from the same stone. Sophomore civil engineering major John Rafert is more than happy to drive that point home.
Seen yesterday wearing his College of Engineering T-shirt, Rafert was sending a clear message to any student that ran into him that day.
“I just wanted people to know that I’m in a better position than them,” Rafert explained. “It’s a prestige thing, really.”
Rafert went on to say that he believes that the university should assign a hierarchy to majors.
“Obviously civil engineering is at the top of the food chain around here,” Rafert said. “It only makes sense that we should enjoy the privileges that come along with our status.”
Rafert noted that almost every sidewalk on campus has enough room to give civil engineers their own walking lane, among other possible concessions to engineering students. Although improvements would cost the university a small fortune, Rafert said the costs would even out over time.
“Face facts, some majors are just not worth catering to,” Rafert said. “The arts don’t drive this country, science does. It’s time for Harv and the boys to nut up and put their money where it counts.”
When asked about his roommate’s strange behavior, English major Eric Brandow didn’t seem fazed.
“Yeah, he gets a little weird every time he wears that shirt,” Brandow stated. “He is usually really cool.”
However, Rafert doesn’t see his actions as strange.
“I just think that we would all benefit from some kind of caste system,” Rafert said. “As a future civil engineer, it is only right to put our noble profession at the top.”
“At the end of the day, I just like people to know that I have a leg up on them for my future,” Rafert concluded. “Even though the university won’t make the proper concessions, the shirt helps me project a little power.”
At press time, Rafert was seen extolling the virtues of an engineering degree to a group of hapless freshmen.