Suh’s Face Seen in Dining Hall Waffle

Mere seconds after Ndamukong Suh was drafted second in the 2010 National Football League Draft by the Detroit Lions, William Copeland noticed something strange. As Selleck dining hall exploded in cheers, Copeland was removing his dinner from the waffle maker when he saw a face on it.

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Above: A hero. A legend. A Waffle? Photo illustration by Adam Templeton.

“I couldn’t believe it,” Copeland said. “It was like a sign from God…or Tom Osbourne.”

Suh, with his signature stone face, was staring back at Copeland from the iron cooker.

Nebraska football personnel immediately claimed the waffle, taking it to an undisclosed location. However, minutes later, defensive coordinator Carl Pelini issued a statement, which read in part:

“This is a miracle, and nothing short of that. Suh is the greatest thing to happen to Nebraska since Bo and I arrived here, and this event is proof. The waffle will be displayed in our Strength and Conditioning area, which Suh’s money will be renovating. Our hope is that our players will be struck with the same inspiration Suh put in every loyal American.”

Copeland, though disappointed that he didn’t get to eat before being hauled off for questioning by the Nebraska sports press corps, was excited about his discovery.

“And to think I was about to douse him in syrup and devour him,” a thoughtful Copeland said. “I would have never been able to forgive myself when and if Suh becomes the greatest NFL player since Eric Crouch.”