Nebrasketball’s explosive offense detonates, creates 50-mile blast radius

In an eruption that made the Pinnacle Bank Arena resemble a watermelon stuffed with an M-80, the Nebraska men’s basketball team accidentally played too hard against the Iowa Hawkeyes last Saturday, triggering a thermonuclear explosion and sending the state into fallout. The crowd of 15,268 were left saturated in radiation, causing fans to resemble sickly green […] Read more

Amidst rising tensions with North Korea, President Trump proposes gorilla warfare

In a recent meeting among the United States’ top national security officials, President Trump reportedly suggested a new strategy to combat rising tensions with North Korea. After hearing various ideas from military leaders, Trump offered what he believed would be most effective against the aggressive regime of North Korea. “I hear what you’re saying about […] Read more