As Americans around the country prepare for their annual late-November feast, President Obama traditionally pardoned one Thanksgiving turkey as a sign of good will. However, Obama’s move wasn’t received as well as the public had anticipated. This year, the pardoned turkey would much rather be roasted and sitting on the dining room table of a […] Read more
Rest easy, millennials: following years of heated debate and uncertainty, a solution for rising higher education costs has finally been found. President Obama announced a new initiative on Friday to help college students deal with skyrocketing tuition rates. The plan? To sell cheap, tasteless candy bars to neighbors and coworkers who don’t want them, out […] Read more
Philippines’ President Rodrigo Duterte was set to meet with President Obama for a regional summit in Laos earlier this week, but the meeting was cancelled after Duterte made some controversial remarks about the president. When asked how he would respond to Obama’s question on his extrajudicial killings and his war on drugs, Duterte said, “You […] Read more
Starting Sunday, free tickets for President Obama’s upcoming appearance at the University of Nebraska Omaha were distributed to the excitement of many. Among the 8,000 tickets were some reserved for government officials and important UNO faculty, but there’s one glistening bald head that will not be spotted in the audience.
You’ve seen him roast candidates on “The Daily Show.” Now, see him host candidates this fall in the 58th Presidential SuperSlam! That’s right. Jon Stewart is back to host this pillar of American democracy. Watch these 15 violent, pissed off sociopaths square off in the ring in one massive No Holds Barred Last Man Standing […] Read more
Last week’s meeting between President Barack Obama and Cuban President Raul Castro signified a historic step in the American-Cuban normalization process. No longer the Cold War communist state of Fidel, Cuba’s slow march to embracing capitalist business practices has rapidly accelerated in recent years. The fears of corporate American corruption have been quelled as Obama […] Read more
President Barack Obama earlier this week vetoed a formal request from his oldest daughter Malia, 14, to go to dinner and a movie with one of her male classmates, instead electing to suspend her privilege of dating indefinitely. The official decision came merely seconds after the question was initially proposed, with the President adopting a […] Read more
By Barack Obama A guy shouldn’t ask for a lot in life, and I don’t think I have. Honestly. A nice gift from my wife here, the leadership of the entire free world there- it’s not much, really. I just don’t think I get enough thanks for the work I do. I mean, that […] Read more
Residents of Zanesville, Ohio, a rural town 45 miles east of Columbus, woke up to an unpleasant surprise last Tuesday. In a story that would become national news, police were involved in a shoot-to-kill hunt for an escaped Joe Biden. The Vice President, last seen throwing sticks and pebbles at law enforcement officers, escaped his […] Read more
On September 8, President Barack Obama unveiled his plan to create jobs and get America’s work force back on its feet. The President said he has high hopes that the Republicans and Democrats can reach across the aisle and finally put the United States back on track. But questions are now being asked on both […] Read more
