Nebraska governor Pete Ricketts is excited to catch up with Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos at an annual head-waxing convention, the bald headed politician told reporters Monday. “I’ve been waiting all year to hang out with Jeff at this year’s Wax-a-thon,” Ricketts noted. “Last year, his stories about suppressing his most vulnerable employees really cracked me […] Read more
The construction on 12th and Q street just off City Campus is causing quite a ruckus among the citizens of Lincoln. With the continual closing of Q street and the giant crane, people are losing their minds. “It’s hard to get to the interstate. I have to take a thirty-second detour and it is just […] Read more
Nebraska: in terms of our species, it is the cradle of humanity. There’s nowhere on Earth where there has been more social progress. The state is on the forefront of free thought and innovation and is in no way a place where people throw new ideas or objective reasoning under the bus in exchange for their […] Read more
Just when you thought the Ricketts administration couldn’t get any more disgusting with its spending habits, it always outdoes itself. Sources inside Wrigley Field said Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts spent $1,000 on Vienna beef hot dogs at the World Series game seven. After spending $300,000 on donations for a pro-death penalty group, it seems Ricketts […] Read more
In a stunning announcement at a state legislature hearing last Friday, Governor Pete Ricketts gave an astounding 45-minute-long speech concluding in an unprecedented request. “In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen of the Senate, I have decided that I want to start taking both my job and my life more seriously,” Ricketts said. “To commemorate this shift […] Read more
After Jeb Bush’s disappointing announcement of his campaign’s suspension, Donald Trump has been searching desperately to find a new punching bag. It seems Governor Pete Ricketts is just what Trump was looking for, following the intercept of a private e-mail from Trump to the governor. The email reads: TO: Pete Rickets babywarbucks1964@aol.com Cc: Jeb Bush […] Read more
