After Saturday’s latest ass-whooping, Huskers everywhere have entered a time of mourning. As a sign of respect to the boys in red, governor John Peter Ricketts, known to many as just “Pete” Ricketts, has issued a mandate ordering Nebraska’s flag to fly at half-staff. Ricketts recently addressed the public to discuss the matter. “Our big, […] Read more
With the Chicago Cubs franchise going to its first World Series since 1945, excitement is in the air for Cubs fans as they hope their team breaks the 100+ year curse. People young and old are dancing for joy at the possibility of a World Series in Chicago, but one person may be too excited […] Read more
Starting Sunday, free tickets for President Obama’s upcoming appearance at the University of Nebraska Omaha were distributed to the excitement of many. Among the 8,000 tickets were some reserved for government officials and important UNO faculty, but there’s one glistening bald head that will not be spotted in the audience.
Today, after returning home from a trip to Chicago, Nebraska Gov. Pete Ricketts announced that he purchased a souvenir Chicago Cubs baseball hat for the entire state of Nebraska. “You know, with all of the trips I’ve been taking back and forth to Chicago and all of the tax money being spent on my security […] Read more
Going far beyond the standard pro-business Republican talking points of running a government like a business, Governor Pete Ricketts announced Tuesday that he plans to turn Nebraska’s government into a literal business. “It’s a bold move, but I am confident our state’s government will be better able to create wealth for our board members and […] Read more
Spattered in blood, clutching a lead pipe with trembling hands and smelling strongly of Jack Daniel’s and exasperation, Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts was discovered standing over the broken bodies of two downtown patrons this past Saturday night, according to the Lincoln Police Department. In response to the legislature abolishing the death penalty this past May, […] Read more