UNL drops football program

After a disappointing 2017 football season, UNL’s athletic board has decided to permanently discontinue the Husker football program effective immediately. After 127 years of fun, friendship and enough laughs to fill Memorial Stadium to the top, the boys in red are finally being laid to eternal rest. The athletic board addressed the press on Saturday to […] Read more

PR nightmare: UNL marketed the Devaney Center as a Transformer to attract Mark Wahlberg, but he just announced that he hates the color red

Calling it the most glaring failure of his tenure, Will Zunneman, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s communications director, told reporters that he fears for the security of his job after his recent mistake of trying to attract Mark Wahlberg to the university by saying the Devaney Center was a Transformer, only to find out that Wahlberg […] Read more

High school star quarterback now sucks at intramural flag football

Andrew Peterson, a freshman global studies major at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, hails from Shawnee, Kansas, where last year his alma mater’s varsity football team won the Class 3A state championship under the leadership of star quarterback, Michael Alford. Alford also happens to be a freshman at UNL, but reports suggest that the high school star athlete’s reputation has […] Read more

DN sports editor taps into 10 GB database of frustrated Tim Miles photos

Following the Nebraska men’s basketball team’s loss to Wisconsin, Daily Nebraskan sports editor Brent Nielsen performed a familiar ritual: opening up a massive, 10-gigabyte folder on his computer of photographs depicting a frustrated Tim Miles. After scrolling through hundreds of high-resolution photos of the Husker head coach, Nielsen settled on one of an agitated Miles […] Read more