Sophomore Jennifer Daniels has made some lofty propositions in her lifetime. Daniels, like many other people, was against Donald Trump and his campaign for the White House. As a vocal opponent against Trump, Daniels was confident that society would reject his hateful rhetoric and would lose embarrassingly. She was so confident that Trump would not […] Read more
While some students have to worry about slow, clunky computers, sophomore Edgar Tucker doesn’t have to worry about anything. That’s because Tucker came to class yesterday with a new Alienware 17 R3 laptop, allowing him to browse websites like Blackboard at a blistering 120 frames per second. “I just wanted an advantage over all of […] Read more
With finals week underway, students across campus are buckling down and focusing on their exams. The library is full to bursting with scholars trying to end the semester on a high note. Many students, during breaks from studying, calculate the various final grades they can receive based on their final scores. One such student is […] Read more
Students walking to class Wednesday morning stared with awe and teary expressions as local frontiersman and freshman ag-science major Rick Moon took his bicycle off-sidewalk near Love Library. “By God, what’s that insane bastard doing?” exclaimed sophomore economics major Martin Griffith, clutching his coat and watching as the pioneer bravely took his bike where no […] Read more
Watch out UNL students: The University of Nebraska-Lincoln has issued a total recall on its clickers, due to multiple reports of the device exploding. The recall, issued for the new i>clicker 2 models, urges students to pack up their clickers, and send them back to the University Bookstore. “This was a huge mistake on our […] Read more
If the approaching winter has you bummed out, don’t worry; the story of UNL sophomore Tony Martin is the perfect thing to warm your heart. “I showed up to college bright eyed and bushy tailed,” Martin said, with a glint in his eye. “I never knew that I would end up reading all of those […] Read more
A student who was rushed to the hospital after not checking his phone for an entire lecture was in critical condition Tuesday, doctors reported. Witnesses in Professor Tim Barnett’s 12:30 calculus lecture said Brian Porter, a sophomore chemistry major at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, fell unconscious just minutes before the end of class. Medical tests […] Read more
Sophomore John Stallworth is just like any other student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln: a mathematics major with interests in video games and Husker football. One would think he’s living the typical college experience. However, he is, in fact, the victim of the horrible dictatorial control of Chancellor Ronnie Green, the freshly ordained chancellor who […] Read more
Great Plains Studies major Anton Kaplan has been turning heads in lecture halls around campus over the last week with his new desktop wallpaper: a Blue Eyes White Dragon so sick that it distracts any student who sits behind him in class. Kaplan created the wallpaper with the help of photoshop and the fine people […] Read more
After relentlessly searching Yahoo Answers and Quizlet for solutions to her online biology homework and coming up empty handed, Liz Stevenson, a sophomore biology major, decided to drop LIFE 120. Rather than going into her professor’s office hours to get help, Stevenson found it easier to drop the class and spare herself the condescending comments. […] Read more
