UNL

Freshman’s lighter-than-air MacBook still floating above campus

An ongoing two-week effort to retrieve University of Nebraska-Lincoln freshman Collin Yoder’s MacBook has proven unsuccessful so far. The 19-year-old grabbed Apple’s latest model out of his backpack to show a group of friends, who subsequently clamored and reached to no avail as it’s lighter-than-air design allowed it to ascend into the atmosphere. “I’m a […] Read more

Bootleg Runzas kill 55

Tragedy struck this week when 55 Lincoln natives were killed by counterfeit Runzas being sold discreetly across the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus. Due to recent budget cuts to the University of Nebraska, UNL was forced to raise the price of Runzas to a record-high $7. Several riots broke out after the news was announced, with […] Read more

Pinnacle Bank Arena out-of-bounds lines rededicated in honor of Hank Bounds

After years of tireless service to higher education, Hank Bounds is finally getting the respect he deserves. Bounds, the president of the University of Nebraska system, was honored Sunday when Pinnacle Bank Arena rededicated its out-of-bounds lines as the “out-of-Hank-Bounds” lines. “This is a huge moment for my career,” Bounds said, who became president in […] Read more

Abel Hall C-Store adds gas pumps

In an effort to increase profitability and drive up revenue, Director of University Housing Sue Gildersleeve has announced plans to put four self-service gas pumps in the hallway outside of the Abel Hall C-Store. “This revolutionary idea will finally make student housing profitable,” Gildersleeve said. “We will finally have a way to make some money […] Read more