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isis

CIA: ISIS “terrified” of white guys posing with guns on Facebook

According to a leaked CIA internal memo, there’s only one thing that the middle-eastern terrorist group known as ISIS fears more than Allah’s disapproval– lower-middle-class, AM-radio-listening, outspokenly patriotic white men who pose with weapons in their Facebook photos. The memo detailed how ISIS is, as one senior analyst described, “shaken to their core” by what […] Read more

Washington Post

Washington Post updates style guide to require a #hashtag in every sentence

The Washington Post rocked the world of journalism Sunday as it unveiled an #innovative new style guide, becoming the first newspaper to require a hashtag in every sentence of its articles. “In today’s Web 2.0 environment, maintaining a fresh #brand is all about engaging with trending topics in the blogosphere,” explained Post owner and Amazon founder […] Read more

liberal teen smoking cigarette deep in thought

Liberal teen was hoping for more conflict over Christmas dinner

Like most liberal teens, local sophomore Michael Abelson was very excited to spend Christmas dinner arguing with his conservative-leaning family about controversial issues like the Black Lives Matter movement, Syrian refugees and how many members of his family want to elect a real-life fascist into office. However, Abelson was surprised and disappointed to find his […] Read more