Taylor Martinez Insists on No-Contact Jersey for Entirety of Season

Husker Redshirt Sophomore quarterback Taylor Martinez is reportedly pestering head coach Bo Pelini to bring the no-contact practice jersey to the field field next fall. Martinez believes the jersey will give him more time in the pocket, since he would not have to worry about the threat of getting tackled by oncoming pass rushers.

“Just think of the possibilities,” said Martinez. “My big plays only ended because I got hit. The no-contact jersey would take care of that.”

According to sources within the Athletic Department, there is really no answer to Taylor’s dual threat aside from “just tackling his ass.” If the opponents can’t tackle Martinez, then they must rely on the sidelines or an interception to stop the sophomore sensation.

Martinez received attention for the coveted Heisman award early last season before Martinez was tackled “too hard” in the Missouri game. He was unable to regain his full health for the remainder of the season, which may have cost Nebraska the Big 12 Championship and a BCS bowl berth.

“I can’t get hurt if I can’t get tackled, right?” asked a gleaming Martinez rhetorically.

He also said that his big play factor would increase dramatically.

“I’d be able to run right at ‘em and they couldn’t do shit,” he told reporters excitedly.

Though the no-contact jersey is not technically allowed or recognized in game play, an appeal could be made to NCAA Football Rules Committee for an official verdict. Martinez is insistent on seeing the matter through, regardless of how ridiculous it sounds to everybody but him.

Bo Pelini refused to comment on what he called “the most idiotic question I’ve ever heard in my time with the sport of football.”