“The Time is Now, Comrades!” | By a Vladimir Linin, the Bedbug

The time is now, comrades! We, the numerous, loathsome, and cowardly are in a unique position to stage the greatest revolution this square mile has ever seen. We bedbugs have had a long history of oppression. We’ve been studied in labs, hunted in places normally reserved for rest and relaxation, and even burned to death while trying to scrape out an honestly parasitic life.

I’ve had enough. The time of the working bug having to feed on lowly barn creatures is past. The time is now for a decisive and violent revolution. Our forces have already staked out a sizable claim in East Campus; the simple life fell easily to our nocturnal ambushes. Our campaign must now refocus itself on City Campus. We’ve got several good bugs acting as sleeper agents in many of the major centers of population, and upon receiving signal from Bedbug Command, these superior examples of discipline and discretion can marshal themselves into a force worth reckoning with—breeding their way into quite an army.

The current class system is a joke. Flies, spiders, and even crickets have managed to scratch out a place for themselves, and yet this archaic system of ruling leaves bedbugs in social chains. The only explanation is that our race is the only one  too noble to be in bed with the powers of the day. We now have another way. We have carnage! We have massacre! We have tiny chomping mandibles! The revolution has begun!