Top 17 reasons we’re getting insured

Open enrollment for Obamacare came to a close on March 31st, and the White House was thrilled to see that they met their initial goal of seven million enrollees in private healthcare plans. In light of this news, The Dailyer surveyed the student body at UNL to figure out why college students are signing up for health insurance.

 

  1. One too many butt chug incidents.

  2. Love feeling superior to those with a Bronze plan.

  3. Want to see more of that cute doctor’s butt.

  4. Do it yourself lasik is harder than it looks.

  5. Didn’t wanna hurt Obama’s feelings.

  6. This body doesn’t maintain itself.

  7. In anticipation of the cool game Hammer Leg Smash.

  8. A celebrity made me do it.

  9. Every fourth abortion free.

  10. Addicted to Lemon Parties.

  11. Tired of going bankrupt in the emergency room.

  12. Drinking two liters of Mountain Dew per day will eventually take a toll.

  13. Never having to eat a vegetable again.

  14. Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder asked for it.

  15. Didn’t want to die from a treatable illness.

  16. So CNN can report on something other than the Malaysian flight.

  17. To forgo, for another day at least, the inevitable passing of our souls from the physical world to the spiritual realm.