True leftist listens to NPR even during classical music hours

Junior philosophy major, Garret KaHoot, has certainly wowed everyone once again — and not by rolling his own cigarettes or letting people know about his knowledge of the local band scene this time.

No, this time, KaHoot shocked everyone at a local party last Saturday with an astounding announcement.

After one of his friends complimented his canvas NPR tote bag, KaHoot said, in a voice loud enough for the entire room to hear, “Thank you, I listen to NPR exclusively. Even during the classical music hours. In fact, I love classical music. Public radio is about as socialist as one can get in this late capitalist society.”

Needless to say, everyone in the room was impressed. Men fist bumped him, women threw themselves at him, non-binary people offered him money and precious jewels. Garret KaHoot had done it again.

The DailyER caught up with KaHoot after the party to talk politics, PR (public radio) and what it’s like to be a local celebrity.

“I love NPR for its reliable, unbiased news coverage, but it’s also nice to just sit back and listen to some relaxing classical music,” KaHoot said, “I’m a huge fan of Piano Puzzlers on Wednesday evenings. It’s always the highlight of my week.”

KaHoot also told The DailyER, “It’s hard to stay true to yourself and not give up some of your quirks when you become as popular around Lincoln as I have, but I would never give up public radio just to appease the masses.”

When asked about the rumors going around that he’s a level one Democrat, KaHoot made it clear that he is definitely not a dem.

“I’m a registered dem, yeah, but not because I want to be. We’re stuck in a two-party system, and the only way to make your voice heard is by voting democrat or republican. I’m really a socialist, but I prefer the term leftist.”

KaHoot said he’s always down to talk consent or classical music and that you can find him hanging around the basement of Love Library almost every night.