Following new anti-gay legislation in Uganda, local man Daudi Otala was arrested Sunday afternoon under suspicion of super gay behavior and was later charged with seven counts of aggravated fabulousness. Additionally, Otala was charged with two counts of misdemeanor queerness and one count of failure to like boobs.
Otala was taken into custody after complimenting another man on his pants and shirt combo, outing himself as the savage, malevolent homosexual who has brought terror and suffering to the people of Uganda.
“We arrested him promptly after his true identity as the spawn of gay Satan was revealed,” the village officer stated. “We’re just lucky we caught him when we did. If he had gone on to compliment another man’s fashion choices who knows how many children would have died of AIDS as a result.”
While the charges have garnered heavy criticism from the United States, villagers are reporting record low instances of men “acting like fags.”
As an alternative to spending the rest of his life in prison, Otala has opted for a rehabilitation program that will teach him to resist any urge to appreciate exemplary stylistic choices in clothing or interior design.