UNL officials announce plan to detonate lower half of Cather-Pound

After several years of flip-flopping on the issue of whether or not to tear down the aging Cather-Pound residence halls the University has announced an innovative solution to satisfy both sides of the argument.

“We just blow up floors 1-6 and leave 7-12 for incoming students!” announced an overly excited Chancellor Perlman at a press conference Thursday. “And they’re gonna let Ol’ Harv press the detonator switch!”

The plan has been met with skepticism and dozens of concerned calls to school administration at the sight of high-grade explosive charges being added outside the elevator shaft, but Perlman assured the school that it would be a controlled demolition and that the thermite was more scared of the students then they were of the it.

The school will graciously not detonate the charges at night but has instead scheduled a very special GFL meal to attract students to the dining hall and away from their soon-to-be-1000°C room.

“Students love CPN’s locally grown options and we think once they see what the boys are cooking up in the kitchen, the lower floor residents won’t even mind the remodel. We think students will grow to love their square block of smoldering rubble, maybe even enough to sign up for a single next year”

The school has back-pedaled on its initial prediction that the top floors “wouldn’t even notice” the remodel work but doubled down on its claims that its alright to feel nervous about your living scenario as random roommates and collapsing stairwells are just a part of the college experience.