Warning to partiers: Tony’s grandparents actually snitches

If you’ve recently partied with freshman marketing major Tony Nichols at his grandparents’ lovely home just outside of campus, partier beware!

Papa and Nana Nichols may appear to be cool, lenient grandparents, but sources have confirmed that they are nothing but a couple of dirty snitches who are not about to let all of those Fireball shooters and boxes of wine you drank with Tony slide.

“I can’t believe all those boys tried to corrupt my sweet little Tony,” Nana Nichols said. “I had to make sure my Tony won’t ever be bullied into asking us for booze again.”

While all the cool freshmen had a blast in the Nichols’ basement playing Mario Kart and drinking the night away, Papa Nichols sat sneakily atop the stairs with his trusty video camera.

“I got the whole thing on tape and I’m not afraid to show it to the police,” Papa Nichols said. “As soon as I figure out how to get the dang tape out of this fancy new picture box, those hooligans are goners!”

Next time you decide to get wasted with Tony at his grandparents’ house, make sure you don’t accidentally offer to help Papa figure out his camera! Your underage drinking depends on it.