Following weeks of intense protesting, the toppling of an increasingly totalitarian regime, the overwhelming influence of a more powerful nation, and the near collapse of what remains of its economic infrastructure, the world’s governments decided to grant Ukraine honorary middle east status, the first such honor since before the September 11 attacks.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a French official stated the decision was a “no brainer” for the world’s governments and that many have been trying to label Ukraine a middle eastern nation for years.

“Geographically it probably doesn’t make any sense, but with 85% of the GDP controlled by 50 or so individuals, a country divided culturally and corrupt government power so prevalent they don’t even try to hide it, the nation might as well just pack itself up and move to southwest Asia,” the official said.

While President Obama held a press conference pledging support for the interim government and the fight for democracy, behind the scenes Obama acknowledged that these anti-government protesters may have won the battle but have about as much chance of getting true democracy as the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt.

While it had not happened yet, officials were just waiting for an Al-Qaeda cell to spring up somewhere along the border of Ukraine.

“We haven’t spotted them yet, but the way things are going we give it about two weeks before one springs up,” a British official said.

“At this point, it’d just make sense to get a couple extremest cells here to make a chaotic situation just that much worse.”