National

Joining the resistance: Joan Rivers’ family just held a second funeral, and this one’s theme was ‘Never Trump’

Joan Rivers, beloved American comedienne known for her caustic wit and pointed humor, died on September 4th, 2014, at the age of 81. Her passing sent shockwaves through the Hollywood community, and the lack of Rivers’ presence has been felt for the past three years. Rivers, during her lifetime, kept fans guessing about her political […] Read more

Hidden clause to sixth commandment revealed: Thou shalt not kill unless he is using a legally obtained firearm

The Republican Party has been under intense scrutiny the past few months for their refusal to implement stricter gun control into U.S. legislation following several mass shootings. However, some recently uncovered information may just help the argument of Second Amendment supporters. An anonymous source came forward earlier this week stating that the sacred stone given to […] Read more

Amidst rising tensions with North Korea, President Trump proposes gorilla warfare

In a recent meeting among the United States’ top national security officials, President Trump reportedly suggested a new strategy to combat rising tensions with North Korea. After hearing various ideas from military leaders, Trump offered what he believed would be most effective against the aggressive regime of North Korea. “I hear what you’re saying about […] Read more

Dishwasher gnomes form union

Kitchens across America rely on power, water and loving families in order to function. Loving families of the actively oppressed Smeebler dishwashing dishwasher gnomes, that is. Stolen from their Smeebler homeland of Dishenraque in the 1850s by inventor Joel Houghton, dishwasher gnomes were forced to live and work inside of wooden boxes and spray dishes […] Read more