Destitute US Military Doing the Best With What It Has

Sources in Washington D.C. have released several statements indicating that key players in the United States military are expressing a growing discontent with the depletion of funding for the nation’s armed forces.

“We can’t be expected to get by on this kind of fascist budget restriction,” said Navy Admiral Stewart Frost.

“Every year they’re loosening our spend belt one notch, when in reality it should be two or three notches. We’re the damn United States military, and without proper backing this whole operation could come crashing down.”

Members of the Congressional Budget Office expressed concern over the military’s budget complaints, but acknowledged that without an “ungodly” budget increase military spending, the nation’s biggest expense category, would suffer in the interim.

“Every year they try and bully us into bigger budgets. The U.S. outspends every other free nation on Earth exponentially. What more do they want?” said Republican Rich Sodder, head of the Senate Military Budget Committee

“We’ve given them everything but the kitchen sink. We’re going to start having to dig in our couches for loose change.”

Congressman Sodder was one of many Representatives to express concern over mounting defense spending. Growing unrest among constituents regarding the flow of billions of dollars towards the national security efforts has resulted in many incumbent Senators and Representative being unseated in past elections.

“Now that you mention it, that kitchen sink idea doesn’t sound half bad,” retorted Admiral Frost.