Ebola Asks Swine Flu to Formal

In a shocking turn of events that have left scientists and the general public stunned, the well-known Ebola virus has asked the once popular Swine Flu to the upcoming formal.

The two first met at a nightclub, trying to see which human’s immune systems were compatible with their personalities. However, when Ebola spotted “The Swine” hogging it on the dance floor, the South Sudan virus was immediately intrigued.

“We just have, like so much in common: rashes, vomiting, general discomfort, influenza obviously. You could see how we would get along,” Ebola said, “Plus, picture the freshman sensation disease dating the misunderstood senior pig flu. That’s totes hot, no literally, we have fevers in common too.”

For the much-forgotten Swine Flu, the relationship could serve as a way to get some needed attention, but the former CNN alert is not interested in using the relationship as a foreground to stardom.

“One day you’re scaring middle-class people into not eating hot dogs, and the next you’re the joke at the local Walgreens,” the former pig infector said. “I’m not interested in going down that road again. I just saw Ebola at a party and thought she would be a good make out session, she has that internal bleeding thing going on.”

Many in the media have criticized the relationship as being a media grab for the two viruses but Ebola denies such rumors.

“Gosh, why can’t I be like any other autoimmune disease?” Ebola said. “Can’t you see that I’m a young disease in its prime? I just want to do me. I know I’m only a freshman, and it’s only one dance, but it’s fun to picture the two of us spend eternity together slowly destroying some poor man’s body.”