Today, after returning home from a trip to Chicago, Nebraska Gov. Pete Ricketts announced that he purchased a souvenir Chicago Cubs baseball hat for the entire state of Nebraska.
“You know, with all of the trips I’ve been taking back and forth to Chicago and all of the tax money being spent on my security detail, I thought it would be nice to pick a little something up as a thank-you to my fellow Nebraskans,” Ricketts said.
The hat, approximately 430 miles in length and sporting the classic Cubs logo, will be the first of its kind for any state in the US and will be entirely paid for by taxpayer dollars.
“I was just thinking, you know, it’s almost Christmas, a holiday everyone in my state celebrates, and a baseball cap is exactly what Nebraska needs to keep that god-awful sun at bay in the hot summer months,” Ricketts added. “I’m anxious to see how it fits!”
However, some Nebraskans are skeptical of the governor’s gift.
“I’m not convinced that the governor has considered the logistics of making this work,” said Adam Morfeld, a state senator and staunch opponent to many of Ricketts’ proposals.
“I mean, we’re a state that’s full of huge Nebraska Cornhusker fans, and their team color is red,” Morfeld said. “The Cubs are what, blue? It’s just not going to work for Nebraska.”
Despite the criticism, Ricketts remains determined to make his gift a hit.
“I’m not worried about it being a perfect fit for the state,” Ricketts said. “I had the surveyor’s office measure everything out. Who knows what those guys do when I’m not keeping them busy?”