Lone Voice of Truth Ignored for Shouting Incoherently

Photo illustration by Dylan Bliss

Despite her repeated attempts to awaken the University of Nebraska-Lincoln community to various dangers, the woman commonly known as “the blue coat lady” continues to be ignored, ostracised, and even mocked by the people she is attempting to save.

The blue coat lady, who claims God himself appeared before her in 1994, has since dedicated her life to educating younger generations about the issues God instructed her to address. Therefore, during the warmer months of the year, she can be found instructing the only way she knows how: shouting incoherently at random passersby.

Regardless of the nobility of her goal, the blue coat lady has yet to discover that her methods of randomly shouting about the vaguely jingoistic policies she advocates are not best presented by shouting.In other, yet related, news, the blue coat lady has announced she is in discussions with MSNBC for a primetime talk show.

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