Man sniffs dog’s ass, sees how he likes it

Omahan Jeff Franklin has been the talk of the town since last Wednesday for his off-the-wall stand against dogs.

“They have no sense of boundaries,” said Franklin. “They just go right up and just start sniffing wherever they want.”

Franklin brought up this issue at a recent open city council hearing. A few other citizens also voiced their concern, but his speech was by far the most unique. Franklin called on the council and the mayor to bring up legislation to stop these four-legged fiends from violating the rights of the public.

No legitimate progress has been made on the issue by the council, but Franklin has a plan. “Yep, I gots a plan, I’m gonna just go up and just start sniffin’ dogs asses and see how they like it,” said Franklin. Jeff plans on using this tactic to draw attention to the issue until the council acts.

Locals have not had the reaction that Jeff Franklin wanted. “It’s super weird,” said one man. “I’m was just out taking Rosco [the dog] for a walk and Jeff storms up, and starts digging his nose in on my poor dog’s butt.”

The Lincoln city council has dismissed this as a “non-issue,” and will most likely do nothing. They offered a brief official statement.

“Mr. Franklin has brought up an issue that is at the absolute bottom of our list of concerns,” the statement read. “He had better stop using this protest tactic. It is disturbing and just like, totally gross.”