Pro-Abortion Candidate Promises No Babies By 2014

Fringe third-party candidate Steven Downs believes the problems in America can easily be solved with one quick-fix: end all births.The Pro-Abortion candidate believes that every fetus must be aborted if we are going to “bring America back.”

Downs, who proudly calls himself a liberal, says that he believes most on the left are actually pro-abortion and not that “cowardly” pro-choice.

“I know how you liberals feel every time you’re trying to get through a peaceful meal and it’s ruined by a crying baby,” Downs said.

“And it’s not just meals these stupid babies ruin; it’s movies and laundry mats, and everywhere, even my house!”

The new father stated that if he couldn’t find a way to pass the pro-abortion bill he’d at least make it legal for a man to take the baby to an adoption agency and not have to get his wife’s permission first.