Student in critical condition after not checking phone for entire lecture

A student who was rushed to the hospital after not checking his phone for an entire lecture was in critical condition Tuesday, doctors reported.

Witnesses in Professor Tim Barnett’s 12:30 calculus lecture said Brian Porter, a sophomore chemistry major at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, fell unconscious just minutes before the end of class.

Medical tests revealed that Porter, who was otherwise in good health, had not looked at his Samsung Galaxy S6 smartphone for at least an hour.

“This is a very scary situation,” said Dr. Amanda Ibanez, a professor at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. “For someone to go that long without checking for new notifications or status updates? He’s lucky to be alive.”

Sources told The DailyER that Porter was expected to make a full recovery, although he was still very weak. As he regained consciousness late Monday night, doctors began reading him the Facebook and Twitter posts he had missed.

“Brian said he was falling behind in class and he really had to focus this week, but I never thought he’d do something like this,” Porter’s roommate Joe Densmore said while scrolling through Instagram. “Everyone knows the most important thing about school is making sure you don’t miss any notifications.”

In the wake of this frightening incident, Dr. Ibanez had some simple advice for students.

“The latest guidelines from the American Medical Association recommend people go no longer than 15 minutes without checking their smartphone, but many people wait only 10 minutes or even five,” she said. “I always say, it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“And even if you don’t see any notifications, remember to go refresh all your social media apps. You wouldn’t want to miss any new posts.”