Student Nails 95 Drafts to Professor’s Door

“For too long have we, the students, subjected ourselves to the wrath of Dr. Stevenson, who is a liar and cheat! He says we can submit as many drafts as we like, yet he never reads more than six!”

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Photo illustration by Jacob Fricke.

With these words, Katherine Wick, a sophomore advertising major, did what many have dreamed of, but none have ever dared: She nailed not one or two, but 95 drafts to the door of Stevenson’s office in Andrews Hall.

A visibly riled Wick made no apologies for her actions, even after she was expelled from her British and American poetry class later that evening.

“Sometimes one must stand against a corrupt system,” Wick said. “I cannot, in good faith, allow Dr. Stevenson to continue his perversion of the syllabus. It is a holy document to be read and shared, not something intended to misdirect and confuse the populace. Also, he really should translate it from Latin.”

Stevenson was notably perturbed by his former student’s actions.

“How can she, a mere student of the syllabus,” Stevenson said, “believe that she has this right? I alone have been chosen by a higher power, the dean, to interpret and enforce this document.”

Wick’s actions have already caused a ripple in the student community, and a stark divide has emerged. One group believes she was firmly in the wrong.

“We are not intended to interpret the syllabus’ desire,” said Andrew Taavola, a junior English major. “Our place is simply to serve.”

Others aligned themselves with Wick, and have quit the class in protest. Some have even talked of creating a formal group to counter the original class.

“It only seems right to name ourselves after our founder,” said freshman Shannon Clover. “Henceforth, we will follow the teachings as we interpret them. And we shall be known as Wickans…. oh. Wait, maybe not.”