UNL housing is declaring the dog search for bedbugs a “huge success” after finding nearly 20 of them, along with over 300 pounds of marijuana.

The UNL housing staff decided to search the rooms without any notice to the students so as to “keep the bedbugs guessing.” Unfortunately for the students, and by total coincidence says the UNL housing staff, this also meant giving students who enjoy the occasional illegal stimulate no notice as well.

‘We definitely had no idea that so many students at UNL would keep marijuana in their rooms. I guess we didn’t do a very good job of mentioning that the dog could also sniff out narcotics as well as bedbugs,” UNL Housing directer Sue Gildersleeve said.

“Honestly though, these kids are in college. I would have thought they could do some basic critical thinking. If a dog can smell a tiny little bug, it could probably smell low-grade narcotics as well.”

The dog was also able to sniff out alcohol, a substance illegal on UNL campus, but GIldersleeve stated that if she had confiscated every ounce of alcohol in the dorms, the paperwork “would have been endless.”

“It just would have been too much work. We confiscated the occasional bottle of whiskey but we didn’t go looking for it like we did feel it was as dangerous as the marijuana. We’re here to keep kids save, not stop them from having fun,” Gildersleeve continued.

“But if we confiscate all the alcohol and don’t tell the cops about it, we could have free alcohol for a very long time… hmmm.”

Immediately after talking with The DailyER Nebraskan Sue Gildersleeve went to her office to announce a new round of “Bedbug searches” to begin ASAP