After a lengthy meeting on Monday, December 2, a carefully selected Association of Students of the University of Nebraska committee voted to let racist Cameron Murphy continue his meaningless duties as an ASUN Senator. The vote was held after a meeting last month, when Sen. Murphy acted out the scene from NBC’s “The Office,” where […] Read more
The Founding Fathers defying unjust British rule, Joan of Arc leading the French Army, Gandhi defeating Voldemort at the Battle of Hastings–all of these are examples of valiant acts performed by bold figures in history. Now, in 2013, the University of Nebraska has birthed its very own hero of paralleled greatness: Sandoz RA Zachary Smoling. […] Read more
Despite the frigid temperatures, freshman biology major, Jeff Johnson, is feeling the heat. With fall semester drawing to a close he, along with thousands of other students majoring in fields other than business or advertising, is putting in long hours of studying. “Those A’s don’t earn themselves,” said Johnson as he scurried into Love Library […] Read more
UNL French professor Rachel Avra does not normally talk to her students after she dismisses them for the day, but two weeks ago she did just that. “I will have your exams graded by Friday,” Avra told her students as they packed up to leave the CBA classroom. Students stopped dead in their […] Read more
Despite being the highest paid state employee in Nebraska, coach Bo Pelini has fallen on hard times. In between supporting his brother Carl’s drug habit and paying his faculty parking pass, the Pelini family has been strapped for cash during the holiday season. When Pelini was recently fined $10,000 for his actions surrounding the Iowa […] Read more
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos’ recent announcement of an Amazon Prime Air drone delivery service excited many American consumers. Even Obama was not immune from the hype cycle, stating that with this recent development he would do all his holiday shopping online and every member of his family could receive same day delivery on their Christmas […] Read more
For Nathan Birkman, most mornings begin the same way: a foul smell seeps under the door of the room he shares with three others, just as terrible hip hop blasts from the adjacent room. A girl that is here fairly frequently flees from yet another different bedroom door, saying a brief ‘hello’ to the convicted […] Read more
Thanksgiving has come and gone, and Christmas decorations have wasted no time springing up around the nation. Families will once again have to make the tough decisions of where to place the best tree ornaments, and the particular Christmas tree in the Sudacek household has been named the first victim of the holiday season. After […] Read more
1. Skip the review day Let’s be honest, the only students showing up to a review day are the ones who already know everything. Instead, use class time to catch up on sleep; you’re going to need to be well rested for this test! 2. Find your perfect study spot Having a perfect place to […] Read more
Following a string of recent emotional outbursts and vulgar displays of self-entitlement, area man Richard Parsons has officially canceled Christmas for his whiney, good-for-nothing disappointments of children. “I have officially called a halt to any further celebration of Christmas, as it is apparent that my asshole children are incapable of going one goddamn day without […] Read more
