In a moment of brashness, one part anxiety, one part arrogance, and another part clever, advertising and public relations major Keith Sullivan handed in a group of “tasteful nudes” for his Photography and Videography class assignment. With a pressing deadline looming over his head, and with an inflated ego due to hormones and expensive body […] Read more
While eating a home-baked pork tenderloin, area man John Sanders came to a strange yet insightful conclusion. “Dude, if I were ever cooked and served to, like, cannibals or wolves or something…would I taste just like this?…Yeah…I feel like I would,” said Sanders. Sanders, a human who inherently has a similar physical appearance to the […] Read more
As sixth year senior Bubba Williams entered the Canfield Administration building to register for graduation he did so with an alluring confidence. Williams had learned a lot in the last twelve semesters but his time had finally come. As he begin filling out his application, however, it finally dawned upon him: in his more than […] Read more
Move over Husker football prestige, there’s a new hallmark of pride for the University of Nebraska – Lincoln and it comes with your choice of fresh toppings. Chancellor Harvey Perlman announced last week that the revamped Nebraska Union will include a Subway Pizza Express—the beloved, immaculate, dough-tossing treasure that is SUBWAY PIZZA EXPRESS. “I said […] Read more
Polite society received a sharp kick to the ribcage recently when Open Harvest Co-op Grocery manager Evan Berg was found starting to wear disgusting garments worn from the sheared skin of cows. “Yeah, I really like my new coat,” said a sociopathic and truly sick bastard Berg about his monstrous clothing. “I didn’t think I’d […] Read more
Dexter Jones is quick to tell you that not all beers are created equal. Since his twenty-first birthday the senior journalism major has become a beer connoisseur of sorts. “I really enjoy a dark, flavorful beer,” said Jones. “Preferably the ones my friends have never heard of.” On any given weekday Jones can be found […] Read more
For the first time ever, the social networking website Facebook was the source of an argument over the internet. A former couple of two years, Jonathan Suntra and Jessica Albert, had their friendship tested. It all started when Suntra, a junior accounting major, saw his ex-girlfriend’s post. “I just want to let everyone know that […] Read more
In the Obama administration, we’re all about change, so how ‘bout you change into something more comfortable as I light these pumpkin spice candles and demonstrate just how hands-on of a vice president I can be. Don’t make this weird. Just relax. Let my silky Irish touch whisk away all the tension in your neck, […] Read more
After countless years toiling away at his laptop under the inspiration of greats like Jack Kerouac, J. D. Salinger and Walt Whitman, failed novelist Ian Treadwell hopes to revolutionize the way our culture views itself while simultaneously going gently into the good night as he readies to publish what he believes to the the “next […] Read more
