Since the premier season of Husker football 124 years ago, a local poll shows that “waiting for football” is still Nebraska’s second favorite sport, garnering 98.8 percent of the total votes. Other sports in consideration for second place included basketball, baseball, soccer, hockey, as well as volleyball. “Of course my second favorite sport is waiting […] Read more
John Thompson, self-proclaimed leader of apartment 214B, has once again stepped in front of the living room television set to give his annual state of the apartment address. “Thank you, thank you so much. Mr Bryant, Mr Campbell, girlfriends, fellow apartment dwellers. Tonight, I celebrate all of you, the inhabitants of this apartment that make […] Read more
The spring semester is almost halfway finished, and one person has noticed the magic has started to wear off on these students. Dean of the College of Business Administration, Dr. Donde Plowman, thinks there has been a significant “lack of synergy” in the classrooms of CBA. “Their acumen is as robust as ever, but I’m […] Read more
Anonymous sources confirmed today that you really should not have gone there and done that thing, Nicolas. “We’re not kidding when we say that you seriously shouldn’t have gone there of all places, Nicolas,” the unknown sources said. “Then, when you did what you did…God help you.” The unnamed informants continued to state that, Nicolas, […] Read more
Election season is heating up, and Ignite finally has an opposing party. The Dailyer would like to present our very own political party, #Party (read: ˈhaSHtag ˈpärtē). They are a dedicated group of three frat dudes who will do their damndest to help fight in the interest of greek students everywhere (at UNL). So, without […] Read more
In his biggest and most highly anticipated movement of the semester, local roommate Todd Corby will be releasing the innovative Taco Bell Waffle Taco, the all-in-one A.M. Crunchwrap, and the popular Cinnabon® Delights in the bathroom. The shared bathroom is already used to handling Taco Bell during lunch and dinner, but Corby will break new […] Read more
by Vladimir Putin I remember when I first listened to Pussy Riot. I was a mere Prime Minister of Russia and I remarked to President Dmitry that these women were on to something. They were so driven, they were so punk, and they reminded me of Bikini Kill. That’s why I’m so disappointed that in […] Read more
Look, I understand that you’re upset. But the way to deal with this situation is reason. Otherwise we’ll just squawk at each other all day. Let me start by pointing out that we don’t currently have a system that identifies ownership of food, which is goofy because we’ve been living together for over two months […] Read more
