With baseball season approaching, one player is experiencing a greater appreciation of the game he already loved. Senior Bert Sizemore has been the starting shortstop of the Peru State Bobcats for three years and was named captain of the team this year. While this is more than likely to be his last season of competitive […] Read more
In an apparent lack of knowledge of current events, area mosquito Pete continues to carry the West Nile virus despite it no longer being trendy. Following the Latin American outbreak of the Zika virus, known to cause headaches, fevers and birth defects, Pete’s peers wonder why he’s carrying a disease that stopped being relevant in […] Read more
Should you be eating breakfast? Our POINT-COUNTERPOINT team shares their take on one of the biggest issues facing America today.
Yesterday, former Nebraska Cornhuskers football coach Bo Pelini was paid approximately $1,391.79 while moving his bowels in a peristaltic fashion following a hearty midday meal, which, according to your parents, is roughly the same amount they pay every month for the privilege of living out their remaining years in a sturdy, heated middle-class domicile. “It’s […] Read more
By Teenager Okay, so I was flipping through channels on the tube the other day and these commercials were just ridiculous; like I literally could not even. First, I had to deal with the chick trying to sell me insurance who’s more hyped than an entire caffeine-fueled kindergarten class. Now these anti-smoking ads? I […] Read more
