Point: We live in the greatest democracy in the world. However, our greatness is threatened if AT&T and Time Warner are able to merge together. Imagine two companies that dominate their respective industries becoming one ultra-company. Talk about “too big to fail.” This single company could completely control the FCC with lobbyists who advocate for […] Read more
Curt Schilling is a man of many talents. As a three-time World Series champion with the Boston Red Sox and Arizona Diamondbacks and racist commentator for ESPN, Schilling has never been afraid of the limelight. His new career path as a politician and clickbaiter follows this trend. Schilling, who plans to run against Elizabeth Warren […] Read more
Just when you thought the Ricketts administration couldn’t get any more disgusting with its spending habits, it always outdoes itself. Sources inside Wrigley Field said Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts spent $1,000 on Vienna beef hot dogs at the World Series game seven. After spending $300,000 on donations for a pro-death penalty group, it seems Ricketts […] Read more
The opinion of Jack Palmer Gell.
As a sign of goodwill towards the Minnesota Golden Gophers, the Huskers have announced that during their game this Saturday that they will change their iconic N emblem on their helmets to the symbol Prince used to refer to himself for a duration of his career. Prince, who died last April, was an inspiration to […] Read more
After a highly confounding election season, Nate Silver is no longer the political mastermind he was four years ago. After correctly predicting the 2012 presidential election and launching the ESPN sister site FiveThirtyEight, Silver was anointed the king of the political projections. However, after 18 months of incorrect projections, bad map forecasts and ultimately guessing […] Read more
On Election Day, freshman Laurie Anderson was excited to express her political attitude for the first time. Anderson, who described herself as an “informed liberal,” was excited to vote for all of the Democratic politicians and policies on the ballot. However, while Anderson seemed knowledgeable on choices like the presidency and the death penalty, she […] Read more
The issues, feeling left out of the conversation by this year’s presidential election, are starting to wonder if we really care about them. “This was gonna be our year,” the issues said, gently dabbing tears from their eyes. “Now all we hear about is scandals and controversies and email servers and grabbing p***sies. And we’re […] Read more
Dan Oterman is fed up with 2016. He is fed up with this election. He is just fed up. Oterman, like many individuals in this country, is unhappy about the current presidential election and its two main candidates, Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton. Between Trump’s excessive lying and Clinton’s shaky history with Wall Street, Oterman […] Read more
Great Plains Studies major Anton Kaplan has been turning heads in lecture halls around campus over the last week with his new desktop wallpaper: a Blue Eyes White Dragon so sick that it distracts any student who sits behind him in class. Kaplan created the wallpaper with the help of photoshop and the fine people […] Read more
