My body’s ability to squirm and writhe around while emanating profound fury at the very sight of a person is seriously underestimated, especially when it comes to people who look like they know a thing or two. 

Who does this guy think he is? Magellan? Answering only the questions he knows in class and then never speaking outside of that! This little Einstein even makes me, the real working man in this Godforsaken English class, answer all the trap rhetorical questions the professor asks! The Nerve!

He’s making me look like a schmuck! A schmuck! I sure as hell ain’t no book sniffing, good dressing, high-falutin’ schmuck! He is!

I’m an honest hard-working American! I bet this little refuse swinging haberdasher weasel even talks to the professor after class. Ugh, what a waste. I haven’t spoken to a single instructor in this entire university. I don’t know a single person’s name in this class and I will die the exact moment I do. 

And this little man even reads all the pages assigned for each class! I bet he has a tiny rat orgasm every time he shows off his knowledge in class like that. College is meant to learn, not to piss all over the class. This guy’s a smart alec floozy. That’s the last tiny ass straw in my corn maze if I’ve ever seen it.

Come here you summer loving, academic bootlicking, rich daddy owning belvedere! You will rue this day! I don’t care how many degrees you get, you’re gonna get these!