Man, what the hell has happened since I left town two years ago? I spend four years of my football career at Nebraska, stay my senior year to take mid-afternoon naps and torturing opposing freshmen lineman, and you guys somehow lose your shit once I’m gone. Over my four year career at the University of Nebraska, one that included no Heisman awards, no Big-12 championships, and not even one BCS national championship game, I think I know what I am talking about. Recently, my former college coach Bo Pelini, had some not- so- nice things to say that may have hurt your feelings, and now all of you think that he is the spawn of Satan.
Well I am here to tell all you fucking fans to shut up when it comes to Bo. He is a nice guy. He’s from Ohio, don’t you know from Buckeyes’ games that the first words people learn in Ohio is “Fuck You”?
When I first met coach during recruitment, it was like no other experience. Hearing him talk about how he wanted to use me as a ploy to annoy other coaches with my constant cheap-shots and duct-grabbing, it was like a match made in heaven. Also, he would also use such colorful and upbeat language during practices, in addition to the much used “fuck you,” he would also toss out a “quit crying, pussy,” and my personal favorite, “will all you cunts quit Nancy Drewing around and get back to fucking work.”
Rex Burkhead probably loved it the most. He loved it so much that he would respond with an occasional “fuck you,” and then Bo would come back with a shit tone of love to Burkhead, so much love that I do not think I could repeat it.
So when I hear that all of you “fans” are shit-talking him way out of a job, I cannot believe what fucking idiotic fans we have. This is as nice as Bo has ever been. This moronic fan base are stupid for not seeing it earlier. Take it from me, Ndamukong Suh, the defensive end for the Detroit Lions, famous for smashing the head of a Packers lineman, kicking Matt Schuab in the groin, almost breaking Jay Cutler’s spine, chop-blocking the Vikings center, etc. I do these acts out of love, and knowing that I am the most-fined player in the NFL puts a smile on my face knowing I’m the most charitable player to some fucking charity in Africa.
