Chad Davis awoke yesterday morning with an uncharacteristic passion.

The junior business administration major arrived to his morning class half an hour early with a spark in his step ready to face the challenges of the day. Instead of going about his usual routine of staring blankly into his iPhone, waiting desperately for a reply from Sarah, Davis passed the time by glancing through one of the freshly printed Daily Nebraskans.

Davis had progressed past the first few paragraphs of the frontpage article when nature called.

Last night’s microwave burrito wasn’t sitting well, so, with newspaper in hand, Davis stole away into the CBA’s second-floor bathroom and braced for the long haul. He chose the handicap stall, and in those very confines Davis finished an entire Daily Nebraskan article.

“I was blown away by how informative and entertaining the DN was,” Davis said. “I can’t believe I’ve been missing out all these years.”

He didn’t stop there either. After finishing his first article, Davis progressed to other sections of the paper, his favorite being Arts and Life.

“That pick five shit is so hilarious,” Davis said. “I bet those editors put in a lot of hard work.”

Upon discovering the quality of information and comedy the Daily Nebraskan had to offer, Davis regretted voting against continuing its funding last spring. He along with about 45 percent of the student population were too fucking stupid to vote to continue the paper.

“I voted against funding the Daily Nebraskan and continuing the collegiate readership program because, you know, why would I?” Davis said. “I voted ‘yes’ to keep funding The DailyER but had never taken time to appreciate the DN or the free newspapers that Chancellor Perlman offers us.”

As Davis reminisced over last year’s bad decisions he placed the paper in the recycling bin and went about his day.

“God, I was such a fucking idiot back then- free newspapers? And I voted against it?” Davis said. “Maybe if I had read more Sarah wouldn’t think I’m such an uncultured schmuck.”