Dexter Jones is quick to tell you that not all beers are created equal. Since his twenty-first birthday the senior journalism major has become a beer connoisseur of sorts.
“I really enjoy a dark, flavorful beer,” said Jones. “Preferably the ones my friends have never heard of.”
On any given weekday Jones can be found lurking the downtown Lincoln and Haymarket districts taste testing the latest craft beers, his face often adorned with a scowl. A scowl permanently formed by months of witnessing conformist bar patrons chug mass produced domestic beer.
“I only buy expensive beer that makes me seem more cultured,” said Jones as he sipped a beverage perfectly blended with hops and barley ending with a crisp malty aftertaste. “I have an image to keep up.”
That image was challenged however when Jones’s friend and fellow beer snob Oscar Sharpe found a finished six pack of Light Budweiser beer in Jones’s downtown studio apartment.
“They were just sitting on his coffee table,” said Sharpe “they weren’t even bottles, they were cans, he was drinking domestic beer out of a can like common trailer trash.”
Jones was quick to defend having Bud Light in his possession by claiming he was only drinking the beer to be ironic.
“I just wanted to see how bad it tasted,” said Jones. “It’s a generic beer made by greedy corporations.”
Sensing his lie and feeling betrayed by his friend, Sharpe questioned whether Jones truly enjoyed fine beer or if he was just another casual beer enthusiast.
“I could understand if you were drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon, Dexter, but Bud Light? What is this a frat party?” said Sharpe. “You can’t even taste the hops in Bud Light!”
Upon hearing his friend’s disdain Jones broke down. Between sobs he admitted to not truly enjoying craft beer.
“Okay I’ll admit it, all of these fancy beers taste like fucking shit, I just wanted to fit in,” said Jones as he cracked open another Bud Light. “If this is wrong I don’t want to be right.”
After Jones’s breakdown Sharpe politely asked if he could have Jones’s home brew supplies as he would not be needing them any longer.
