National security is an issue that’s changed a great deal over the past ten years. Gone are the days of leaving your front door open for days on end; people practically bolt them shut with a piece of wood nowadays.

As the government has developed its measures against possible terrorist attacks, one of its favorite options is to hack into individuals’ phones in order to make sure they aren’t threats.

While the issue is heated on both sides, the matter has gotten even hotter as Apple CEO Tim Cook announced that Apple would not allow the FBI to crack into individuals’ iPhones to access information.

While the Apple CEO has received acclaim for his actions, Cook has revised his stance at a recent Apple event. Presenting the new iPhone, Cook said that while iPhones will be off-limits, every other Apple product will be “fair game.”

“Phones are a personal object, but we all know they are only used for dank memes and shitposting,” Cook said. “Things like our MacBooks or iPads are things that can hold dangerous and embarrassing secrets, so it’s important we take this into consideration.”

While the crowd at the event was less enthusiastic about Cook’s backpedaling on this issue, Cook reassured shareholders that these policies will not violate consumers’ privacy.

“Think of it as one big survey that you don’t want to be a part of,” Cook said. “We just want to know your search history and what’s on your computer to better understand our customers. If any troubling things show up, that just collateral.”

While Cook’s flip-flopping is not winning anyone over, Cook’s moving grand finale at the conference summed up the crowd’s feelings.

“Why do you care, just don’t do anything stupid,” the CEO pleaded to the audience. “The government’s all over my ass about the phone thing, can’t you just accept the good in life?”