After a lengthy meeting on Monday, December 2, a carefully selected Association of Students of the University of Nebraska committee voted to let racist Cameron Murphy continue his meaningless duties as an ASUN Senator.
The vote was held after a meeting last month, when Sen. Murphy acted out the scene from NBC’s “The Office,” where manager Michael Scott, played by Steve Carell, provoked a human resources complaint by performing a Chris Rock comedy bit in front of his entire staff.
Similarly, Sen. Murphy broke out of his normal senatorial routine of making absolutely no difference and decided to say the n-word multiple times and cite multiple minority groups, all in Chris Rock’s name.
“We will absolutely not tolerate intolerance of this level on this campus,” said ASUN President Eric Reznicek. “But I guess none of this matters anyway, so he can keep showing up.”
The decision was made in a secret vote, where the committee failed to get the two-thirds majority they needed to make a proper example out of Murphy.
“Look, we’re all just here to fill up our résumés, right?” said an anonymous committee member who voted to keep Sen. Murphy around.
“Why take that away from the guy? If he’s looking for a career in nutrition, he’s going to need something to set himself apart,” the unnamed committee member said.
Afrikan People’s Union President Gregory Wilson took an understanding approach to the decision, and is awaiting an opportunity to sit down and have a quick chat with the racist senator.
“I’m sure [Sen. Murphy] can explain himself,” Wilson said. “It was probably just a case of wrong place, wrong time, wrong words, wrong decade, as happens so often.”
Several ASUN senators are furious about the decision, as evidenced by their very professional and passive-aggressive public letter.
“We are very displeased with the committee’s decision, and vow to represent the student body to the best of our ability by doing nothing but hope this all blows over soon,” the letter read.
Sen. Murphy was unavailable for interview because he had to get to something more important, saying only: “If all this goes viral, it might actually make me more popular in certain circles.
“It’s a good thing no one reads this stuff,” Sen. Murphy added.
