In a shocking act of defiance, a bag of trash willingly removed itself from a receptacle at 36th and Vine Streets Monday morning. The incident began when mother of four Christine Tate insisted that her 16-year-old son, Joseph, take an overflowing trash bag out to the curb. “It was getting kind of gross,” said Tate. […] Read more
Christina Aguilera shocked the world last Sunday when she released an upgraded version of the American National Anthem at Super Bowl XLV. “I just thought to myself, if I can make the word ‘brave’ last for 45 seconds, I can probably make up some new lyrics for our country’s anthem,” Aguilera explained. “I figured it […] Read more
As the violent revolutions rage on in Egypt, Yemen and Tunisia, interested parties have been debating solutions to soothe the unrest. While international organizations find themselves short-handed in devising such plans, there seems to be a sliver of hope in the form of a stocky, white man, residing comfortably in his mother’s Lincoln basement. “The […] Read more
“Let my people go” was a common chant from the raging streets of Cairo. Cats flooded the streets, and passersby stopped their protesting to worship them. Mummies were also reported to have reanimated themselves to join in active disapproval of the Pharaoh’s command, which has been sustained since before the Common Era. “Really, it has […] Read more
Aung San Suu Kyi finally obtained internet access this past week following her 15-year stint under house arrest, marking it her first experience with the World Wide Web since its creation. After hours of browsing, Suu Kyi summed up her initial reaction in three words. “What the hell?” Suu Kyi asked, eyes wide in disbelief. […] Read more
