Richard Dickinson said he finally feels avenged. The sophomore education major said he has watched his peers enjoy nuts in many different styles and fashions for too long to feel bad for them now. “I swear to God they add a nut to every single day of their lives,” Dickinson said. “I have never enjoyed […] Read more
Vampires? Kinda hot. Werewolves? Super hot. (Can you tell I was team Jacob??) Witches? Honestly, can be pretty! Wizards? Later Harry Potter movies prove- hot! Frankenstein’s Monster? Not cute. Mummies? Eh… I don’t know what’s under those wraps, but I’m going to keep it that way? Zombies? Nope. Ghouls? Gross. Honestly, I think we’re missing […] Read more
When senior journalism major Alaina DeMarcio says she is “fine,” she means it. And that is why she is freaking the hell out. The senior said she is constantly in panic mode because things have never been this okay and shouldn’t be now. “There should be something wrong,” she said. “Where is the dumpster fire […] Read more
It wasn’t until the professor brought up the Beatles that freshman Matt Micheals realized his mistake. “The whole time I was in class, I was a bit confused,” Michaels said. “Everyone kept talking about songs and artists, but I was here to learn about metamorphics and sedimentaries.” Michaels said he had been sitting in “History […] Read more
Abel Hall has had its fair share of parties and interesting occurrences through the years, but the resident assistant on duty had no idea he would have to MIP someone last Friday night. “Everyone knows this is a Pepsi campus,” RA Edward Mundorph said. “So citing someone for Minor In Possession of Coca-Cola left me shook.” […] Read more
Why did nobody warn me?? Who let me do this to myself?? What the FUCK is going on here??? Hi, I’m Miranda and I’m a senior Business and Nutrition double major. I plan to graduate in May with Honors and chords and distinction beyond belief, but I don’t know if that is truly in the […] Read more
Witnesses say they’ve never seen anything like it. As Andrew Dean took off running after his Organic Chemistry exam, his friends noticed things were weird, but said they never thought it would get this weird. “He said he was going to blow off some steam,” chemistry major Gregory Dernell said. “But now that the tracks […] Read more
The University of Nebraska-Lincoln is turning 150 on Feb. 15 and the university is declining to comment about any of it. “I’ll talk to you about the present,” the university said. “But the past is the past.” It is rumored that it doesn’t like being told how long it’s been around because it makes it […] Read more
Sophomore engineering major Mariah Harvey had never seen the world the same way before. After a quick visit to Wal-Mart and investing 98 cents on a bright pink planner, the sun started to glow a little brighter. “It was crazy,” Harvey said. “I wish I would have known about the power of a planner before […] Read more
It was a nice and long break for freshman Jim Johnson. After spending three weeks with family and trying to avoid high school friends, Johnson was exhausted. When he arrived back to his Abel North dorm room Sunday night, he knew what he needed to do. It was officially nap time. He brushed his teeth, […] Read more
